Days 93 and 94: Mongoose-poo anyone?

Day 93

For god knows how long I have had a hankering for a water park. You just have to love the adrenaline rush from knowing there is nothing but the laws of physics keeping you from slipping off the edge as you fly down an open-topped chute, combined of course with the childish glee of feeling like Augustus Gloop sloshing round in Willy Wonka's factory. Consequently after some carefully placed hints we ended up spending today at Bali's 'Waterbom' water park.

In common with everywhere we had seen in Bali so far the park was incredibly slick with high-tech wrist straps that functioned as credit cards, wet-suit clad photographers to capture every look of fear and more staff than bathers all sporting bright blue contact lenses. 

I decided to force myself to try every slide in the place. Highlights were the whirlpool (orange below) where a very steep drop opened out into a sort of giant washing machine and the boomerang (greenish-blue below) where an incredibly steep drop led to an almost vertical climb to the very edge of death before thankfully gravity kicked in.

The real test of courage though came with the aptly named 'Climax', a terror of a ride where you are sealed into a standing glass coffin five storeys up. The ride operator then gives a warped smile at you through the glass as a computerised voice counts down - 3, 2, 1. Suddenly the floor under your feet opens up and you plummet a good few storeys before coming into contact with a near vertical slide which swiftly guides you into an upside-down loop-the-loop before spitting you out at great speed unto the cheering spectators. Thankfully my first go on the slide went without a hitch. However on my second attempt the girl in front of me got stuck in the middle of the slide and we were treated to a good minute or two of terrified screaming before the rescue.

The women preferred the perfectly named 'Lazy Bath'. 

Among the tid-bits we ate throughout the day were some traditional Indonesian Nasi Bungkus (a rice dish cooked in a banana leaf and sliced into coin-shaped segments). It was indescribably horrible! A bit like glutinous chalk (see the bottom-right of the picture below).

Day 94

Representing perhaps the only totally free day of our trip to Bali, today was the perfect time to do a tour of the island. My mum and I chartered a driver and guide and we were whisked around the major sites over a very packed 13 hours. Bali has long been renowned for the high quality and sophistication of its art forms, ranging from painting through sculpture to music and theater and much of today would be themed around exploring this rich culture.

We began with some traditional Barong-Keris dance. This dance/play is of central importance in Balinese Hinduism, telling the story of the eternal fight between the good and evil spirits which pervade the island's belief-system. The dancers train in the art from the age of six, learning sets of codified hand positions and gestures (mudras) as every articulation of the face, arm, finger, knee and foot is specifically coordinated with the layers of the percussion in the accompanying gamelan music. Equally impressive though are the costumes which would make Elton John look modest.

The dance started with a short tale of a tiger killing the children of three men, who then attack the tiger in revenge.

First Act - Two girl-dancers appear who are the servants of the Rangda (an evil demon). They are looking for two servants of a Mrs Dewi Kunti.

Second Act - One of the girl-dancers changes into a witch and enters both servants of Dewi Kuntu to make them 'angry'

Third Act - Dewi Kunti and her son Sadewa appear. Dewi Kunti has stupidly promised the Rangda (the evil demon) that she will sacrifice Sadewa to him. The witch/girl-dancer reappears and enters Dewi Kunti to make her angry as well. Dewi Kunti orders her son to be taken into the forest and tied up to a tree.

Fourth Act - Unknown to all the God Siwa appears and gives Sadewa immortality. The Rangda (see the picture below) appears and tries to kill Sadewa but of course the now immortal Sadewa survives. Now the morality of the play gets a little iffy. The Rangda repents for its sins and asks Sadewa to redeem it. Sadewa however refuses and kills the Rangda.

Fifth Act - The girl-dancer/witch also repents and asks Sadewa for redemption. Sadewa also refuses. The girl-servant gets angry at this and changes into a boar to fight Sadewa. Sadewa and his servants are able to defeat the boar though. Next ensued a really weird 'comic' scene in which a bunch of clowns including a dwarf set out gutting the boar and examining its rather prodigious assets. The prude in me was very shocked.

The witch/boar then transforms into a bird only to be defeated again. Finally the witch turns herself into a new Rangda. In response Sadewa turns himself into a Barong (a mythological good animal). The Rangda and Barong them fight an eternal, unending fight.

Next we went to see some batik cloth-making (a dyeing process involving candle wax), gold/silver smithery, wood carving and painting, followed by a trip to a waterfall and Goa Gajah (a 1000 year old elephant cave temple).

 

 (mum and me in the unflattering sarongs one must wear to enter temples)

We had lunch at a restaurant overlooking the Batur volcano and Lake Batur.

We began the afternoon strolling round a coffee plantation, which also seemed to grow every other bean, spice and fruit imaginable. I had a good nibble on some coffee beans fresh from the tree, licked some cinnamon, sniffed some lemon grass and generally had a good time. The owner then showed us the secret to the plantation's success, its mongoose farm. The mongooses are fed the coffee beans, which are then reharvested from their droppings and ground down to make the world's most exclusive and expensive coffee. - Kopi Luwak.

(coffee on the tree)

 (about 10,000 pounds worth of mongoose-poo-coffee)

Mum and I then sat down to a tasting - chocolate coffee, lemon tea, vanilla coffee, gingseng tea, chocolate tea, ginger tea and ginger coffee. As I never drink coffee (indeed in my life I have probably had less than five cups) you can imagine the effect that seven large glasses had on me. In my caffeine-induced craziness I even summoned the courage to feed the owner's pet vampire bat which was the size of a large vicious dog.

After the coffee plantation we visited Tegalalang for a beautiful view of rice terraces and Wenera Wana, a forest temple overrun with overly friendly monkeys.

 (the three wise monkeys)

 (a sacred spring)

 (this is the life)

Finally we saw the sun set behind the Tanah Lot sea temple and dined on seafood at a candlelit restaurant overlooking the water.

That evening we packed as tomorrow we were moving to the wedding villa!!

Days 89, 90, 91 and 92: Paradise

Day 88 cntd: 22/05/11
Woe be to those who get a budget airline for a long-haul flight. Luckily though my arrival in Bali could not have been more pleasant as my sister had booked me into the 'VIP arrival service'. I was met at the door of the plane, escorted past all the lines, immediately given my visa, a man picked up my luggage and I was in the car all within five minutes of landing. Goodbye budget backpacking!

For the first week of my stay in Bali I am sharing a villa with my sister, my soon-to-be-brother-in-law Graham and my mum in the town of Seminyak, while Graham's family have the neighbouring two villas. Seminyak is Indonesia's version of Miami - stuffed with high-end designer boutiques, champagne bars, fashionable clubs and luxury spas - and the streets are lined with bronzed, beautiful people. Once again, goodbye budget backpacking!

Villa-life appears to be a Bali institution as wherever you look you find stunning designer pool houses boasting well-heeled Westerners supping cocktails in the sun and enjoying the fruits of dirt-cheap domestic help. Next week for the wedding itself we are booked into an absolute palace. However, mindful of budget we have started more modestly and have avoided Downton-Abbey-esque grandeur as yet. Nonetheless, modesty here would still appear a little, well, immodest as our villa is heavenly compared to some of the backpacker dives I've been staying in.

Our three villas are reached down this charming little path.

 

 (The interior decor may not be traditional Indonesian fare, but we'll survive)

 (look at the size of my bed! - every night it is left strewn with fresh flowers)

 (my private bathroom - it is larger than some houses I've lived in)

 (bowls of fresh flowers abound)

(the table is always beautifully set)

The biggest draw of our villa though are the fantastic staff. The security guards at the entrance welcome us with smiles each time we pop in and out, the head maid is a font of all knowledge and the pool cleaner is unfazed by all the crap that Oscar has taken to throwing into the pool. Above all else though, there is Dayoo - our maid/cook/babysitter/love-of-our-life. With a seemingly limitless amount of energy, she restores the villa each day to perfection, launders our clothes, cooks whatever our whims might demand, keeps the fridge stocked with freshly squeezed juice and ripe fruit and still finds time to look after Oscar whenever we fancy a swim. I repeat, if this is a modest villa, what do we have to look forward to next week?

Day 89: 23/05/11
Today was mostly spent getting used to our new surroundings (i.e. sunbathing in the glorious 35 degree heat) and watching Oscar's glee at his new home (and Hull City Yoda-towel).

Venturing out into the town I was struck by two things. One is the ubiquity of the canang sari offerings - these are little leaf boxes containing ceremonial gifts to the gods that literally litter the streets and cover nearly all surfaces. They are made daily (even in our villa by Dayoo) and contain everything from flowers and incense to sweets and lollipops. I was initially wary of accidentally stepping on them, but it turns out that that is actually what one is supposed to do!

Secondly, I was struck by the sheer incongruity of the high-end designer stores sitting amid traditional Hindu and Buddhist architecture.

Today Dayoo made us some Nasi Goreng - a stir fried rice dish containing sweet soy sauce, garlic, chicken, tamarind, shallots, egg and chili - and the girls relaxed with a manicure and pedicure.

 

Day 90: 24/05/11
I decided to buy a new wardrobe after three and a half months' of the same few
T-shirts day after day. As might be imagined, things are somewhat cheaper here and I successfully managed to exchange my Primark and H&M for Ralph Lauren, D&G and Paul Smith. As however I am spending my days almost entirely in swimming trunks I haven't yet had a chance to try these out.


For lunch Dayoo made us Mie Goreng - the same dish as Nasi Goreng, but this time with noodles.

It would seem however that everyone in the extended families is on a pre-wedding diet, so for dinner tonight we shunned the fried goods and instead Dayoo made us a chicken salad.

Day 91: 25/05/11
You can take the family out of England, but when the chance for an afternoon high tea presented itself we couldn't refuse. Half the table went for the traditional fare accompanied by some lovely crockery and tea-cosies.

 

 

The other half (me included) went for the Asian High Tea - a veritable tasting menu of Asian delights. We began with salak (the fruit of the Indonesian palm tree) poached in cinnamon and star anise

This was followed by dadar gulung (a coconut pancake roll), a Balinese samosa with a date chutney, Vietnamese spring rolls, a tart of ayam sisit with sambal matah (shredded roast chicken, shallot, lemon grass, lemon salsa and sauteed fern tips), a curried egg sandwich (much nicer than it sounds), date scones with mango jam, Moroccan orange cake with rose tea syrup, pineapple and mint agar-agar (a vile jelly), kue mochi (a delicious glutinous rice ball) and to drink I chose a rather fine masala chai (though spicy as hell).

(we didn't eat the accompanying chili)

 (a look of decadent abandon)

Day 92: 26/05/11 

Now the danger of booking your wedding venues on the Internet is that in person the places might prove a tad disappointing. What promises to be tasteful is so often tacky, what says it is high-end is instead a converted sewer. Therefore it was with some trepidation that we arrived at the unusually named 'Potato Head Beach Club', an exclusive beach resort which will provide the setting for the welcome-to-Bali drinks party next week.

The entrance was suitably grand ...

... and to our surprise through the gates a true paradise unfolded itself, far far surpassing the bride and groom's expectations.

 (the perfect beach)

 (the infinity pool)

 (Club Tropicana drinks are free)

 (the very happy couple)

 (Oscar enjoying the pool bar)

 

(my sun bed)

 (Being a Hindu Island, Bali does love a cow or two on the beach)

(none of this could compare to the blue of Oscar's eyes though)

The pool was filled with tanned-and-toned models and their rich 60-year-old sugar daddies, hyper-cool music played through speakers in the palm trees and highly attentive waiters were all to eager to bring us drinks and food:

(a tequila prawn and mango ceviche served with a further shot of tequila on the side)

 (some delicately presented crudités)

 (this time a tuna and avocado ceviche)

 (Oscar loved the bread sticks)

As the wedding date approaches more and more of the bride and grooms friends are arriving on the island and we were joined today by three further families. Together we watched the sun go down and thanked our hosts for choosing Bali for their wedding and not a dingy London hotel.

 (the sunset brought out my Essex orange skin-tone)